Momma Gets a Whoppin’
I read the book, The Five Love Languages a long time ago, (have not read the children’s version) but I think that Josiah is a huge “words of affirmation” kid, as most kids are. At the park, he tells me to sit on the bench and watch him slide. After sliding, if I don’t say it, he says, “Great job!” and comes and give me high fives. He loves being praised for things and will do so much if you just give him lots of affirmation afterward. He also reacts very strongly to harsh words spoken in anger and impatience. One harsh word and he’s crying for ten minutes, which is good because I get disciplined when I speak harshly!
Long story, but we were at this new, indoor, moon-bounce place last week, and I was grumbling in my head about how my child is the only one who needs me to watch him constantly while he plays in those things–not because he acts out (sometimes he does), but because he wants me to cheer for him, to watch him go down all the slides and tell him what a great job he did when he gets done. All the other moms were sitting on benches and talking together. (Insert pouting face.)
Then I got to talking with one of the 18-year-olds that “supervise” the kids on the bounce things. We were chatting about how sometimes day cares bring classes of kids there and how crazy it is for her (and anyone else who comes) on those days. She was saying that the most annoying thing about it is that all these kids will come up to her and ask her to pretend to be their mom, stand at the entrance/windows to the bounces and say, “Great job so-and-so.” She said it happens constantly when those groups are there, and it’s not just a kid here and there. Hearing that really broke my heart and snapped be back to reality. My role, as unglamorous as it seems sometimes, is a mom to a two-year-old who needs verbal affirmation, and I get the privilege of being my son’s cheerleader, and that’s the perfect place for me!
February 24th, 2008 at 11:23 am
I hear ya sister. KK is the EXACT same way! She has the definite love language of words of affirmation and is also a huge communicator. I’ve noticed recently that she has also turned this love language into a way of expressing her love to others also. She is the biggest compliment giver ever! I love that about her.
February 24th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Rachel…
Both of us were saddened by reading what that girl told you about the kids. How convicting it is to us that we persevere in relating to our little ones as they need and how blessed we are to be in a position where we know what they need and can and want to meet it. God has been gracious to us… Keep on cheering!
February 24th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
I couldn’t agree more - great insight! I went through a period of feeling sorry for myself when I felt I couldn’t converse with ANYONE because I had to keep an eye on Dominic all the time…whether he was rewiring someone’s stereo system or taking off in a field at a park….you saw him, he was always on the go! I prayed a great deal over it during that phase, and God gave me the insight that He was obviously calling me let go of my social life and embrace my child with all (or the very best) of my attention. Lots of times it means I have to make choices that suit him and his needs more than they suit mine, and I have so much more peace in my life and in my mothering now with that purpose in mind! God truly teaches us through our children!
February 26th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
You are SO lucky that you get to stay home with Josiah (and new baby!) and be there for all of the play dates, birthday parties, trips to the park, etc. That’s a pretty rare thing these days it seems. You are very blessed.
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:48 am
Dear Rachel, thanks so much for sharing. Hearing of your desire to die to yourself and give yourself for your Josiah and be content whatever the situation, really encourages me on to be a humble and faithful servant of Jesus. Thank God for how he encourages us on through each other. I haven’t been on your blog in a while and in God’s amazing providence I am on it today. This morning I was faced with a dirty house and some other things that need to be tended to around the house. My first thought (which I thought a good one) was, “Forget it! There are more important things.” But I quickly felt Him tugging at me that I needed to be disciplined in this and seek to glorify Him in the mundane things. Reading through your blog has really encouraged me on. I am so thankful to have you as a friend! (and thanks for being such a thoughtful husband to your sick wife, Thomas)